I’ve been on quite A journey over the last 6 months. I’ve spent a lot of it in solitude contemplating myself, my ego, my layers of programming. It came to a sort of crescendo at the weekend of the autumn equinox and a new moon. I felt this was a call for the final expansion in this part of the chapter with Jupiter conjunct my sun. Pushing me into my next cycle.
It started around the spring equinox with my car engine blowing up on the motorway and turning 40 and ended with an almighty slap in the face of realisations and a mass physical healing, where I purged so much unresolved shit out of my system that it knocked me off my feet for days and FORCED me to to rest and really see myself.
The last 6 months have been interesting to say the least. A completely different energy and vibe to previous cycles, and one where I questioned myself more times than I’ve ever done. I lived without a car for 5 months, I questioned all my decisions and paths and literally sat in my garden mostly trying to clear my mind so I can listen and write what was coming to me from a space of silences
What I thought I’d seen, what I thought I’d conquered, come and showed me at the very end was not half of it. I sat feeling awful in bed, in pain, trying to surrender and bring acceptance when the biggest realisation come to me and a massive heart opening happened. A realisation that I’ve not been allowing my heart space to fully flower. I felt it, I felt it in my belly, I felt it, as this layer was shown to me. I felt it mutate from the solar plexus straight into my heart space and I sobbed. I sobbed like a child, because that’s what it was, mini Leigh finally letting it all go, the pain, the walls, the chains. It hurt, it was uncomfortable but my god was it a fucking relief!
Looking in the mirror at the end of this chapter and really seeing it gives me a sense of calm amongst the panic of taking off the masks and being vulnerable. Now I’ve just got to integrate it back into the world with the clarity that bestowed upon me.
When you dip down into these moments, remember it ALWAYS has a purpose. It sometimes may not be a very comfortable feeling, it may be hard to get through; it may feel like your life is falling apart. But I promise you it all has a purpose.
Always forgive yourself and learn from your experiences. There is growth in every moment.
I’ve got so much to write on my self discovery journey over the last 6 months, but for now I’ll leave it here and introduce myself back into social media and the wide world of the internet. It’s been a while! 😉
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